I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
