Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I wish I could teleport
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
either way he was missing a nipple.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Randomize
