just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
