I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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