I'm jealous of your bromance
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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