well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
