Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Randomize
