Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
