He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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