The maid of honor just puked.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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