I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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