Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I understand Curling. That high.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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