3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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