Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
