And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
