I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
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