no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
So vagazzling was a success
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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