Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
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