Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
