I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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