She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Randomize
