NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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