just come out here and I will go home with you...
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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