I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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