Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
