You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
