Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
