i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
