we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
