Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
