i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
