god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
