Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
