Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Michael Bay diarrhea
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
