'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
