So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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