i jhust puked up my retainher.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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