Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
