your thong is hanging out like whoa
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
