Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
