Three words: puerto rican gang bang
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
