i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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