so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
