I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
