okay pat passed out under dana's car
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
