Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
