I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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