why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
