Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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