You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
