In the future we'll all be gay
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
